I sat by the fire, with my arms around my legs, trying to keep as much warmth in as possible. The baggy sweater from an ex-boyfriend helped with making me feel comfortable, and the old worn out jeans made it easier to move around. Eventually the clothes would be useless, and I’d either have to buy new clothes or make my own. Considering I had no money and couldn’t sew, I wasn’t sure how I would do either of those. I looked around the cave I was sitting in and started to think about my future.

“How am I going to do this?” I whispered, and it echoed off the walls. I put my head to my knees, and let the tears flow freely.

I heard the whisper of footsteps by the front of the cave and my head shot up. A tall man leaned against the mouth of the cave, with his shoulder on the cave wall, his arms crossed, looking relaxed. He was incredibly handsome, with dark brown hair coming down in waves to his shoulders. He had a full, bow shaped mouth, currently smirking, and almond shaped eyes, a chocolate brown. He was in almost all leather, which he pulled off to perfection. I stood up, feeling dowdy in my baggy clothes and running sneakers, and looked at him. I pulled up the sleeves to my sweater and my hands lit on fire.

“Can I help you?” I asked, more confidently then I felt. He just clapped his hands.

“Nice show. Put away the flaming hands doll, I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to help.” He moved off the wall and came forward as he spoke, which made me nervous. I put my hands up and tried again.

“Listen, I don’t need help.” The flames started to crawl up my arms, so I had to get my anxiety under control before I went on fire.

“Don’t you?” He whispered, stopping right in front of me. I thought about my mother, who had called the cops one me; of my step father, who now had 3rd degree burns on his hands from trying to grab me; of the house that I had lived in since I was two, now burnt to the ground. What the hell was happening to me?

Suddenly his hand was on fire too, and he grabbed mine. “You have more control of it then I did, back when they first found me.”

I just stared at him in awe, and put my hands out, but his didn’t burn me. His hands when out too, and then I hugged him. He put his arms around my back and just let me cry.

“I thought I was the only one.”

“Oh no, sweetie. Not by a long shot. Come, I’ll show you.”

He stepped out of my hug, and opened his hand to me. I gladly took his hand, and he smiled. Suddenly I was in another place, a hotter place. Definitely not in Kansas anymore, Toto. Everything was either black or red, like a bad vampire movie.

“What is the place?” I asked of my handsome stranger.

“Welcome to Hell my dear,” he smiled again, devilishly. “Come, meet your father.”

I was pulled along the halls, into a great room. I felt like I was in a castle, which was odd since I was in Hell. Maybe I was just numb, in shock, hence why I was thinking about the walls of the castle instead of the fact that I was in Hell. Going to meet my father.

Who my mother told me was dead for the last 26 years.

Fantastic. Apparently he wasn’t such a good guy after all.

“Hello, your majesty. I present to you, your missing daughter, who is presenting all signs of your demonic blood, in her ability to burst into flames.”

My guide had bowed to the man on the throne. He got up, wearing all leather too, and smiled as he walked toward us. He looked surprisingly young for the devil.

“Hello, Ana. So nice to have you with me,” he said smiling.


Goodbye, my love.

This is the hardest letter I have to write, the hardest goodbye I have to say. We both knew this day would come, but we both ignored it.

I have no regrets, if you were wondering. Even though I will never know the taste of your lips, or what it feels like to be the center of your world, I do not regret a thing. Even though every time I hear our song, or watch our show, I will think of you, I do not regret it.

Even though it was unrequited, I do not regret loving you.

I will miss how excited you get over your comic books; how you smile at the corny jokes; how your eyes crinkle when you’re laughing until it hurts.

You are the hardest goodbye I have to make, because I know it is forever. There will never be another hug to cheer me up, or late night phone call because you can’t sleep. Never again will I hear your voice, and that’s the most painful part of it all. Eventually you will move on from me. You will first forget what my voice sounds like. Then you will forget the color of my eyes and the color of my hair. My features will fade in your mind, until you forget my name. 

But I will never forget you. 

Know that I wish you the best in life, and that I will always love you. I would tell you to call me if you ever need anything, but it would be pointless. You’ll never call me again. 

So goodbye, my love, my friend. I will never regret falling in love with you, and I will never forget you. 


The Inevitable

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and in yours I see everything.

When you laugh, it looks like there are tiny diamonds glittering. When you are angry, the brown in your eyes looks like molten lava in a volcano, ready to explode at any minute. When you’re sad, the turbulent ocean cannot compare with the hurricanes swirling in your eyes.

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and in yours I see what you will not tell me.

You say you love me, but I can see you say it out of habit. Your eyes do not darken with lust, or glitter with happiness. Instead, I see the destructive hurricanes, ready to come onto land. I see the hurricanes that start as small rainstorms, and grow for months in the ocean, until the inevitable happens; they come onto land. Every day, my heart breaks as I see you pull away physically and feel you pull away emotionally.

But I’m selfish. I cannot end it. Even one more hour, one more minute, I can call you mine and know I’m yours, is better than living without you. I know you will leave me, I know you will be happier without me, but still I hope. I hope you will see me and love me again.

But, the inevitable is coming. Its like being in the middle of the Sahara desert with only a bottle of water, and a thousand miles away from any water source. You know you will die, but you still have hope. So you sip and save your water, hoping you will make it, but you will not. I am hoping, but I know we will not make it.

I will continue to sip and save my water, until the inevitable comes.