Tag Archives: heartbreak

Depression, Goodbye, Love, Short Story, Sleep

Three days.

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It’s been three days since I’ve slept. Three torturous days since I’ve been able to sleep peacefully. I can’t stop my mind from racing. Every time I try to close my eyes, your image flashes back at me, and they pop open again. I  can’t stop seeing your smile in my head. The sound of your laughter keeps me up at night. I toss and turn, but the minute I feel sleepy, the minute my eyelids shut, your face zaps into my head.

I hate it. I hate every minute I lay there thinking of you.

People are starting to see that something is wrong with me. My eyes are bloodshot, there are bags under my eyes, my hair that was once so shiny is now dull and stringy. I think I even lost weight. I don’t know how much longer I can last without seeing you. I can feel my mind slowly deteriorating again.

I feel like I’m starting to dream while I am awake. I am starting to see you even when I don’t close my eyes. Something happens and I turn to tell it to you. I try to text you, but it won’t go through. I forget that I’ve blocked your number. It’s for my own good, I know, but it doesn’t help. I search for you in all the social media. I look for you on every website I can think of, but your name doesn’t come up. It’s like you never existed. Like you were never a part of my life.

Dammit I know you were there! I cried to you about my family, I was at your house, I ate dinner with you, gossiped with you, I loved you.

But it wasn’t enough for you and I know that now. It’s why I blocked you in my phone, why I erased your name from existence. My head remembers it’s for my own good, that I did this only to myself, but my heart screams out that I didn’t do it, someone else must have. Because you love me and I love you.

But it’s not true.

It’s the middle of the night and all I can do is lay here and hope that tonight I will finally sleep. It’s been three days since I’ve slept.

Love, Short Story

The Inevitable

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They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and in yours I see everything.

When you laugh, it looks like there are tiny diamonds glittering. When you are angry, the brown in your eyes looks like molten lava in a volcano, ready to explode at any minute. When you’re sad, the turbulent ocean cannot compare with the hurricanes swirling in your eyes.

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and in yours I see what you will not tell me.

You say you love me, but I can see you say it out of habit. Your eyes do not darken with lust, or glitter with happiness. Instead, I see the destructive hurricanes, ready to come onto land. I see the hurricanes that start as small rainstorms, and grow for months in the ocean, until the inevitable happens; they come onto land. Every day, my heart breaks as I see you pull away physically and feel you pull away emotionally.

But I’m selfish. I cannot end it. Even one more hour, one more minute, I can call you mine and know I’m yours, is better than living without you. I know you will leave me, I know you will be happier without me, but still I hope. I hope you will see me and love me again.

But, the inevitable is coming. Its like being in the middle of the Sahara desert with only a bottle of water, and a thousand miles away from any water source. You know you will die, but you still have hope. So you sip and save your water, hoping you will make it, but you will not. I am hoping, but I know we will not make it.

I will continue to sip and save my water, until the inevitable comes.