All posts by Cait

27.

Revenge Love by Kata Cuic is LIVE!

Revenge never felt so sweet.
Revenge Love by Kata Čuić is NOW LIVE!

FREE with #KindleUnlimited

“Revenge Love is the perfect mix of imperfection, friendship, love, revenge, and angst. A flawless book mastered by Kata Cuic that I loved completely. Emma and Jason’s revenge is your 2018 necessity!” – Len Webster, bestselling author of Sometimes Moments.

ADD TO YOUR TBR → http://bit.ly/2JXVLFe
More Information here → https://www.katacuicbooks.com/revenge-love

Revenge is sweet.

Emma Hastings has tried all her life to fit in. Throwing off her awkward high school years to become a member of a prestigious sorority at Wellbridge University, she has her sisters at her side, and the future spread out before her for the taking. Her senior year of college should be filled with parties, studying, and sweating between the sheets before she goes to medical school.

One night at a party changes everything. Dominoes collapse as quickly as they’re erected. Suddenly, everyone has something to gain and everything to lose.

Love is sweeter.

Jason Gould will never fit in so he doesn’t even try. Content to stay on the periphery of society, he works hard, plans for his future, and keeps to himself. His senior year should be filled with early morning shifts, gym sessions to keep his pent-up anger under control, and readying himself to face the rest of his life alone.

One ray of sunshine refuses to let him fall into darkness. Emma refuses to leave his side no matter what is thrown at them.

When a woman who is dying to fit in joins forces with a man who never will, they just may find they fit together in ways neither could have ever imagined, and they’ll discover a life well-loved is the sweetest revenge of all.

EXCERPT:

The crowd parts as a lone figure stalks out from one of the side rooms. A nondescript gray hoodie covers his face, but from the few gasps of those closest to the action, they know who he is. When he makes it to the center of the ring to stand by Kieran, Rosie and I use each other as leverage to perch on our toes for a better view.

Slowly, almost as if he both dreads and relishes this part, Jason lowers the hood, exposing his face to the crowd. Just as jeers break out, he continues to disrobe until he’s wearing nothing but a pair of faded, ripped jeans.

Silence descends on the basement.

“Oh my God,” Rosie breathes. “I don’t even like dick, but my panties are absolutely drenched right now.”

I can’t get my lungs working enough to respond, but I concur. All his time in the gym has paid off in dividends. Every inch of Jason’s torso is corded with thick muscle. He could give any of the football team, wrestling team, basketball team…hell, any team a run for their money.

About the Author:

Kata lives in the suburbs of Pittsburgh with her husband and three children.

When she isn’t in the writing cave, she’s cheering on her favorite sports teams:

the Pitt Panthers, Pittsburgh Steelers, Pittsburgh Penguins, and Pittsburgh Pirates. It’s good to be a Steel City girl.

Connect with Kata:

Website: http://www.katacuicbooks.com
Amazon: https://amzn.to/2ysZwgr
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katacuicbooks/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/authorkatacuic

GRASPING FOR AIR IS LIVE- this is not a drill!

 

Presents
 
Release Blitz
 
Grasping For Air
by K.L. Donn
 
 
Genre: Dark Romance
Series: Adair Empire; Book 6
 
 

 

Buried bodies.
Broken dreams.
Desperate measures.
A devastating loss.
A hard choice.
She ran …
How long will her lies have them …
Grasping For Air

Read the series in order!

 

Follow the Author
About the Author
Krystal is a proud Canadian girl, hailing from Sherwood Park, Alberta. She has a strong dislike for the winter, and a love for spring. Married to her husband Steve, for 13 years, they have 4 beautiful red headed spawns ranging in ages 6-13. She has a strong love of coffee, sarcasm, and wine. (Not necessarily in that order either.)Krystal loves to write about instalove between couples looking for love. She has a passion for contemporary romance and springs into menage as often as she can.

 
 

 

Hosted by
 
RRR Promotion
 
Read Review Repeat
 

 

 

 

RELEASE BLITZ-The Mafia and His Obsession by Lylah James

 

Title: The Mafia and His Obsession: Part One
Series: Tainted Hearts #4

Author: Lylah James

Publisher: Limitless Publishing LLC

Genre: Contemporary Dark Romance
Release Date: July 24, 2018

 

Blurb
My life only has one purpose, and it’s to
protect them—my family.
Whether I fight, maim, or kill the enemy, it
makes no difference to me. If have to take a bullet for my family, I would
embrace death with a goddamn smile on my face.
When their safety is compromised, I put my
life on the line and made a deal with the devil. I never questioned it, not
even once…
…Until her.
All it takes is one glance. With her pretty
eyes now imprinted on my soul, the foundation my life has been built on is
shifting. My loyalty has become hazy, and my life has a new meaning. There’s a
pull between us that’s undeniable, and a carnal desire that threatens to ruin
us both. It has turned me into a man obsessed.
My perfect, well-planned life is now in chaos,
and a choice needs to be made.
My family…or my obsession?

 

Purchase Links
AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU
Free in Kindle Unlimited
Also Available

 

 

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU
Free in Kindle Unlimited

 

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU
Free in Kindle Unlimited

 

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU
Free in Kindle Unlimited

 

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU
Free in Kindle Unlimited
Author Bio
Lylah James uses all her spare time to write. If she is not catching up
on sleep, working or writing—she can be found with her nose buried in a good
romance book, preferably with a hot alpha male.



Writing is her passion. The voices in her head won’t stop, and she
believes they deserve to be heard and read. Lylah James writes about drool
worthy and total alpha males, with strong and sweet heroines. She makes her
readers cry—sob their eyes out, swoon, curse, rage, and fall in love. Mostly
known as the Queen of cliffhanger and the #evilauthorwithablacksoul, she likes
to break her readers’ hearts and then mend them again.

 

Author Links

 

Forbidden Miles by Claire Kingsley Review!

arcblurbforbiddenmiles“Either I was seeing things, or Cooper was stalking down the aisle toward us. In his underwear. Nope, I wasn’t seeing things. It was my nightmare come true.”

Moving back to my family’s winery seemed like a good idea. I can save money, be closer to my family… But I forgot that when you’re the baby of the family—and your three older brothers are basically insane—life can get complicated.

Dating? Forget about it. I’m the forbidden one. There isn’t a bad boy in this town who’s bad enough to go after Brynn Miles. Not with my brothers acting like human chastity belts.

Finding love isn’t my focus anyway. Except… there’s this guy. And he’s kind of amazing. I didn’t see him coming, and it figures I’d fall for the one guy in the world I shouldn’t. He’s T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Untouchable. And just as forbidden as I am.

Am I ready to put my whole family on the line for a fiery case of lust? But what if it isn’t? What if it’s love?

**Each book in the Miles Family series ends with a romantic HEA, but there is an ongoing subplot that spans the entire series. Contains explicit language and content.**

— Goodreads — Amazon —

aboutheauthorclairekingsletClaire Kingsley writes smart, sexy romances. Her books feature sassy and often quirky heroines, swoony heroes who love their women hard, panty-melting sexytimes, romantic happily ever afters, and ALL the big feels.

She can’t imagine life without coffee, her Kindle, and the sexy heroes who inhabit her imagination. She’s living out her own happily ever after in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and three kids.

FacebookAmazonReaders GroupTwitterGoodreadsWebsite

 

reviewforbiddenmiles1

Claire Kinglsey checked every single one of my boxes for a five star review. Alpha male? Check! Safe? No cheating? Check! Instant connection? Check! (Well… sorta…) Drama outside the relationship? Check! Crazy family? SUPER CHECK!

I’ve read one of Claire’s books before, and it made me want to devour every one she’s ever written. Her writing style is amazing. The flow is amazing. She blew me away with Book Boyfriend, but she absolutely AMAZED me with Forbidden Miles.

Brynn is the baby of the Miles family. She’s back home after living at college for the last few years. She’s happy to be back, happy to be near her family again, even if they drive her nuts. She’s funny, mature, and smart enough to have given up her long time crush on her older brother’s best friend.

Well… until Chase sees Brynn for the first time. And not as the forbidden Miles he’s helped the brothers protect and defend. Not as his best friend’s little sister. No, as a woman. And at first he’s all “HELL no I can’t go there” but when he decides she’s worth it? That he needs her in his life? PFFFFT she never stood a chance. Hell, I didn’t stand a chance.

When I say this book had it all, I mean had it all. Chase is a sweet heart, looking for the family he never had. He listens to Brynn and talks to her. He doesn’t treat her like a little kid, he doesn’t ignore her wants and dreams just because of her age. He takes her education as seriously as she does, and he risks his bromance with his best friend to get what he’s always wanted: love.

Brynn is so strong, willing to give up what could be the best thing that’s ever happened to her so Chase doesn’t lose Cooper. Her family is the greatest, but it comes with it’s own issues. But Chase doesn’t downplay her problems because her family is amazing. Each and every interaction they have with each other makes their love grow until nothing could ever get in between them.

Chase and Claire have a bond that couldn’t be destroyed, despite the outside influences that tried to rip them apart. Claire Kingsley brings you a love so sweet, so powerful you want to re read the story over and over again, infusing it with humor and an edge of mystery. Trust me when I say you’re going to want Chase and Brynn in your life. And if you don’t believe me, you’re going to want to read it just to read the epic Chase and Cooper bromance.

forbiddenmiles25star
**All images are from freeimages.com and pexels.com and all fonts are from CreativeMarket.com. For more info on the fonts and images used, please email caitscreatures@gmail.com**

Can’t Text This by Teagan Hunter BLURB REVEAL!!

Today we are sharing the title and blurb reveal for the next standalone title from Teagan Hunter. Can’t Text This is a contemporary romance title that will be releasing on October 11th. The cover reveal will be coming soon!

Sign up for Teagan’s Newsletter for news about the book!

Join Teagan’s Reader Group

Can’t Text This by Teagan Hunter

Releasing October 11th 

Book Blurb:

“Hi Monty. Wanna see my python?”

That’s how I ended up in the bathroom of some dive bar with a stranger.

Me, Monty Andrews, the quintessential virgin girl next door.

I was so out of my element, but there was no denying our explosive attraction, even via text.

Commence Operation Bang Each Other Out of Our Systems, because that was all it was—unfinished business. 

I had no intention of falling back into the sheets with the tattooed, muscly, dirty-in-the-best-kind-of-way single dad over and over again…but I did.

Everything was going great—until we discovered I was his son’s teacher.

Other standalones in this series 

Read for FREE on KindleUnlimited

Read for FREE on KindleUnlimited

————————-

AUTHOR INFORMATION:

TEAGAN HUNTER is a Missouri-raised gal, but currently lives in North Carolina with her US Marine husband, where she spends her days begging him for a cat. She survives off coffee, pizza, and sarcasm. When she’s not writing, you can find her binge-watching various TV shows, especially Supernatural and One Tree Hill. She enjoys cold weather, buys more paperbacks than she’ll ever read, and never says no to brownies. For more information, please visit http://www.teaganhunterwrites.com.

AUTHOR LINKS:

Sign up for Teagan’s Newsletter

Join Teagan’s Reader Group

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | Book + MainFacebook Page  |  Goodreads

InkSlinger Blogger Final

 

Excerpt Reveal for Revenge Love by Katia Cuic!

Revenge never felt so sweet.
Revenge Love by Kata Čuić releases on July 26th!
Keep reading for an excerpt!

ADD TO YOUR TBR → http://bit.ly/2JXVLFe
More Information here → https://www.katacuicbooks.com/revenge-love

 

Revenge is sweet.

Emma Hastings has tried all her life to fit in. Throwing off her awkward high school years to become a member of a prestigious sorority at Wellbridge University, she has her sisters at her side, and the future spread out before her for the taking. Her senior year of college should be filled with parties, studying, and sweating between the sheets before she goes to medical school.

One night at a party changes everything. Dominoes collapse as quickly as they’re erected. Suddenly, everyone has something to gain and everything to lose.

Love is sweeter.

Jason Gould will never fit in so he doesn’t even try. Content to stay on the periphery of society, he works hard, plans for his future, and keeps to himself. His senior year should be filled with early morning shifts, gym sessions to keep his pent-up anger under control, and readying himself to face the rest of his life alone.

One ray of sunshine refuses to let him fall into darkness. Emma refuses to leave his side no matter what is thrown at them.

When a woman who is dying to fit in joins forces with a man who never will, they just may find they fit together in ways neither could have ever imagined, and they’ll discover a life well-loved is the sweetest revenge of all.

EXCERPT:

The crowd parts as a lone figure stalks out from one of the side rooms. A nondescript gray hoodie covers his face, but from the few gasps of those closest to the action, they know who he is. When he makes it to the center of the ring to stand by Kieran, Rosie and I use each other as leverage to perch on our toes for a better view.

Slowly, almost as if he both dreads and relishes this part, Jason lowers the hood, exposing his face to the crowd. Just as jeers break out, he continues to disrobe until he’s wearing nothing but a pair of faded, ripped jeans.

Silence descends on the basement.

“Oh my God,” Rosie breathes. “I don’t even like dick, but my panties are absolutely drenched right now.”

I can’t get my lungs working enough to respond, but I concur. All his time in the gym has paid off in dividends. Every inch of Jason’s torso is corded with thick muscle. He could give any of the football team, wrestling team, basketball team…hell, any team a run for their money.

About the Author:

Kata lives in the suburbs of Pittsburgh with her husband and three children.

When she isn’t in the writing cave, she’s cheering on her favorite sports teams:

the Pitt Panthers, Pittsburgh Steelers, Pittsburgh Penguins, and Pittsburgh Pirates. It’s good to be a Steel City girl.

Connect with Kata:

Website: http://www.katacuicbooks.com
Amazon: https://amzn.to/2ysZwgr
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katacuicbooks/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/authorkatacuic

Always Been You by Sadie Allen is LIVE

 

Always Been You  

 

by Sadie Allen

 

 

Cedar Lake Series, Book 1

 

 

Genre: Romantic Suspense

 

 

Design: Oh So Novel

 

 

Release Date: July 19, 2018

 

 

 

 

Synopsis
Emma Taylor ran away from home in a cloud of dust, taking the pieces of her broken heart with her. Fifteen years later, she is back to care for her grieving father and to face the boy who once broke her heart. 
Brazos Huntswell was dealt a bad hand. Life hasn’t turned out the way he envisioned it in high school. He’s a single father to a moody teenage girl and trying to make a go of the cattle ranch his father left him.
Trouble is brewing in the town of Cedar Lake, and people are turning up dead. Will Braz and Emma be able to weather the coming storm and take a chance on forever? Or will a ghost from the past destroy that chance… permanently?
Add to your Goodreads TBR List:
Buy Links:
 

 

 
About the Author
 
 
Sadie Allen lives in Texas with her husband and three young children. When she’s not writing, she’s reading, catching up on her favorite shows, or chasing her family around the house.
Social Media Links:
Giveaway
<a class=”rcptr” href=”http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/f421f3092/&#8221; rel=”nofollow” data-raflid=”f421f3092″ data-theme=”classic” data-template=”” id=”rcwidget_hvzzydga”>a Rafflecopter giveaway</a>

 

Fighting Vegas by Ember-Raine Winters Review

arcblurbfightingvegasCliff

Coming out would ruin his career, but I was done hiding in his closet. Fed up with the games and being a dirty little secret, I did the only thing I could. I left. But fate’s a cruel bitch and my latest job puts me back in his sights.

Randy

I couldn’t give him what he needed. So I let him walk away and focused my attention on the only other thing I love, fighting. Seeing him again, I realize my mistake. I want him. Always. And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him this time.

Can a closeted MMA fighter go against everything he knows to have the flamboyant designer he needs?

GoodreadsAmazonBarnes and Nobles

aboutheauthoremberraineEmber-Raine Winters lives in sunny California with her two beautiful kids and a wolf. Also known as Apache her pure white Siberian Husky. She loves writing romance and reading just about anything she can get her hands on. And, football! She loves watching football and going to games. It’s one of her favorite ways to unwind. She dislikes the super-hot temperatures in her city and exercise. She hates to exercise but somehow her sister still gets her to do it every day. She also thinks it’s completely awkward talking about herself in third person. Ember loves connecting with readers so don’t be afraid to stalk her and drop her a line on social media.

— Goodreads — Facebook — Amazon — Website —

reviewfightingvegas1

This is only my second book from Ember, but she’s quickly becoming one of my go-to authors, especially for MM. I absolutely adored Cliff and Randy’s story. I loved Cliff’s flamboyant attitude, and Randy’s super alpha personality. I loved the representation of homophobia in the world of fighting. I loved everything about this book.

I haven’t read the others in the series, so I don’t know the other characters (but Lordy do I want to now!)  This was my first interaction with the fiesty, flirty Cliff. He was everything I always wanted in a friend: The person to tell you NOT to wear something because YES it makes you look fat, helps you decorate your house, but also is there for you no matter what.

Randy was the guy I would love to lust over: broody, alpha with a past that makes you want to hug him and never let him go. An MMA fighter forced into the closet because his career would suffer if he ever came out of the closet, and in love with a man that doesn’t want to be someone’s dirty little secret. A year before, Randy chose his career over Cliff. But after a year of misery, he sees Cliff again and needs to make a choice: The fear of losing his career forever, or losing Cliff forever.

What will he choose?

This book had it all; heartbreak, love, amazing sex scenes, a crazy ex, and MORE. Oh yes, I said MORE. What I loved about Professor Hot Pants was the inclusion of people’s homophobia and how it affects the relationship and the people. I loved it even more in Fighting Vegas. We love to read romances with everyone accepting the couple, especially for MM because it’s freaking life, people love who they love. But it’s not reality.

The reason this is four stars and not five is because I felt like it moved too fast. This book was jam packed with lots of action, but sometimes it felt like you were just processing something before it was over and something else was happening.

Overall though, amazing book, amazing love, and amazing characters. LOVE.

fightingvegas24star

**All images are from freeimages.com and pexels.com and all fonts are from CreativeMarket.com. For more info on the fonts and images used, please email caitscreatures@gmail.com**

Grasping for Air by KL Donn Review

arcblurb5034b-kl2bdonn2bgfa2b1Buried bodies.
Broken dreams.
Desperate measures.
A devastating loss.
A hard choice.
She ran…
How long will her lies have them…
Grasping For Air

**WARNING**
The Adair Empire is a dark and graphic romance that will push your buttons, and maybe your boundaries. Each book contains a new couple but ends with a plot cliff-hanger.  This is the final book in the Adair Empire

Series must be read in order of release.
The series reading order is:
King: 13 Little Lies
Luther: 2 Truths and a Lie
Castiel: With Lies
Atticus: Secret Lies
Carver: Past Lies
Grasping For Air

GoodreadsAmazon

aboutheauthor285e7-kl2bdonn2bauthor2bgraphic

Krystal is a proud Canadian girl, hailing from Sherwood Park, Alberta. She has a strong dislike for the winter, and a love spring. Married to her husband Steve, for 13 years, they have 4 beautiful red headed spawns ranging in ages 5-12. She has a strong love of coffee, sarcasm, and wine. (Not necessarily in that order either.)
Krystal loves to write about instalove between couples looking for love. She has a passion for contemporary romance and springs into menage as often as she can. Currently, she is working on 2 new series, the Adair Empire a darker, dirtier, and grittier series than what her readers are used to, but boy has she had a ton of fun writing them. The What Happens When series will begin with Anonymous Bride series will begin with Anonymous Bride and continue with untraditional love stories. Bringing you all the good feels, a ton of love, and maybe – if you’re lucky 😉 a surprise baby or two!
With the exception of Anonymous Bride, and Until Arsen you’ll be able to find all her books on all platforms!

reviewgraspingforair2

First of all, can I just say how hard it is to write reviews for cliffhanger books? Cause ugh, this is realllyyyy hard. But also reaalllyyyyy worth it.

If you didn’t think this was going to be 5 stars, you obviously don’t know how obsessed I am with this series, this author, or Luther. Cause seriously, I’m obsessed with them all. I have the cover for Luther as my background on my phone (which can get kinda awkward at my new job but YOLO).

From the moment I read Luther (cause yeah, totes didn’t get the Adair memo at first) I’ve been obsessed. Each book gets a little darker, a little more twisted, a little sexier, and also makes you question your own mental instabilities, let alone KL’s. She brings in so many different aspects to this series, I could probably write a thesis on it (wait- I feel like I’ve said this before…). Anyways, this series is not for the faint of heart. If you’re not into dark and twisted alpha psychos that are obsessed with their women- you won’t like this series. And it’s cool… I won’t hold it against you (for too long). But if you like organized crime families that will go to bat for each other, literally kill for each other, than I welcome you to contact me every time KL makes you go WTF?!?!

Grasping for Air was the stunning, breath taking, HOT conclusion to the Adair series (I’M NOT CRYING YOU ARE). If you’re sitting here, reading this review hoping to get spoilers MOVE ALONG because I’m not giving them. But if you’re looking for a taste of what’s to come, let me tease you as much as I can. There’s a whole bunch of OMG, a lot of fanning your face because Jesus woman you need to go to Church, you’ll be clutching your pearls and a whole bunch of tears. AND THERE’S TWO EPILOGUES. Ugh. That second one though, had me seriously crying.

KL Donn makes me cry a lot.

If you read Carver, you’re probably yelling at me to tell you who this book is about. But I’m not gonna. It broke my heart all over again, and you need to get that too. Each sentence, each page, is another moment you’re going to want to experience for yourself. So get the series, love it, obsess over it, TALK TO ME ABOUT IT PLEASE. You won’t regret it.

graspingforair35star
**All images are from freeimages.com and pexels.com and all fonts are from CreativeMarket.com. For more info on the fonts and images used, please email caitscreatures@gmail.com**

BOOK TOUR for Broken Love Story by Natasha Madison

Title: Broken Love Story
Series: Love Series #3
Author: Natasha Madison
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Release Date: July 10, 2018
Kindle Unlimited

 

Samantha: 
 
I had the perfect life; a husband who loved me, and two kids who were my world. 
 
Until someone else answered his phone and my perfect life shattered. 
 
When he died, I was left with answers he couldn’t give me and a box full of lies. 
 
He left me broken. 
 
 
Blake: 
 
I fell in love when I was fifteen, knowing she was the one. 
 
For five years, she was my everything—my every breath, every heartbeat, every thought. 
 
She made me promise to move on, promise to find love again, but I broke those promises because I can’t move on. 
 
Two broken souls brought together by tragedy and heartbreak. 
Can a broken love story be fixed?
Samantha

Standing in front of the full-length mirror in my room, I smooth down my black skirt. My blond hair is tied up in a ponytail, my cheeks are sunken in more than normal, and the blackness around my eyes indicates I haven’t slept well since this whole thing happened. Since I found out that not only did my husband die, but that he also married someone else. 

I sit on the made bed and look down at my wedding band. My thumb of my right hand touches it, and the lone tear that falls out of my eye lands straight on it. “Mommy.” I look back at Lizzie, who is standing in the doorway wearing a black one-piece dress similar to mine with ballerina flats. 
My mother-in-law went shopping yesterday and bought us all new outfits for today. “We need to put our best foot forward,” she said as I watched her walk in with the six bags. “We can’t let people talk.”

I turned around and walked out of the room, going upstairs. Shutting myself in my bathroom with my back against the door, I cried quietly, trying to hide my sobs. “We can’t let people talk,” I whispered to myself. The hatred I had begun feeling when I remembered my husband.

Lizzie walks to the side of my bed and sits next to me. “I hate this dress,” she says when I put my hand around her shoulder and bring her to me, kissing her head.
“I know, baby,” I whisper, “but after today, it’s going to be all over.”

“That’s what Grandpa A said.” She mentions the name she calls my father-in-law. Grandpa A because you can’t get better than an A. 

“Is everyone ready?” I hear Ethan yell from downstairs. “The limo is picking us up in twenty.”

“Let’s go, baby,” I tell her, getting up and holding her hand while we walk downstairs. My in-laws are both sitting in the kitchen. My mother-in-law in a black skirt and top while my father-in-law has on a black suit. “Where is Daisy?” I ask them.

“Elliot is upstairs changing her. She spilled milk on her dress,” Judy tells me, looking at Lizzie. “You look like such a big girl.” She blinks her tears away.

Elliot comes down the stairs with Daisy on his hip, smiling at me when he walks in. “Okay, you girls go sit in the living room while us grown-ups talk,” my father-in-law says, and the girls both know to leave the room. When he knows they are both out of earshot, he starts. “Today is going to be tough, tough for us all, but we have to stand together. We have to be the family that we are.” I lean against the counter while he talks. “The situation with the other one has been taken care of, and she has been served papers.” I look at him and then at Elliot and Ethan, both of them looking down when our eyes meet. It’s almost as if they feel guilty for meeting this woman. My father-in-law continues, “After all this is done today, we are meeting with the lawyers in person, so we can go over the will, start the paperwork for the insurance, and make sure she doesn’t touch a thing that belongs to him.” I stop listening at this point, turning to look out the window at the backyard.

The swing set that he built in one day to make sure the kids could use it when he left the next day. The patio set he had delivered to us, so I could have somewhere to sit while I watched the girls while he was living with another woman. I shake my head, walking out of the room. I sit on the couch, and the girls come to sit next to me, one on each side. “Today is going to be really hard,” I whisper to them, “but we have to be strong for Daddy.” They both look at me, their eyes exactly like their father’s. “But, if at any time, you need to leave or you need me… I don’t care who is talking to me or who is around; you come and get me.”
“Grandpa A said we had to sit and wait,” Daisy whispers just as Elliot comes into the room and kneels in front of us.

“What is this meeting about?” he asks, smiling at us. The circles around his eyes are just as black as ours. He hasn’t left our house since this happened. 

“Mommy said if we need her that we can go to her,” Daisy says, looking at him and then me, “even if Grandpa A said no.”

He leans in, whispering, “You can come to me too, and I’ll make sure that you get Mommy.” 

“Okay,” Lizzie and Daisy both whisper at the same time, and then the doorbell rings.
We get up, put our jackets on, and one by one file into the black limo that has come to take us to the funeral home. We arrive before everyone else. “We get an hour with him, and then they will open the door,” Adrian says as Judy grabs her tissue and dabs her eyes. 

I look around the funeral home. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, not sure where he is. I haven’t seen him since he kissed me goodbye four days earlier. His last words to me were, “Call you when I can.” That phone call never came.

I follow my in-laws to the big brown door that is closed. “I want to go in before the girls.” Everyone turns to look at me.

“We can keep them in the lobby,” says the lady who greeted us at the door. She told me her name, but I just didn’t listen. 

I nod at her as she turns to ask the girls if they want hot chocolate. Daisy’s eyes get big as Lizzie turns to look at me. I nod my head, giving her permission, so she can go with the woman.
The doors open, and I don’t even know what to expect. I’ve never been to a funeral. Never known anyone well enough to pay my last respects. Judy and Adrian walk in first, followed by Ethan, and Elliot waits with me. I step foot into the room, and it’s so cold that I shiver. The smell of flowers hits me right away, making me turn my head. The number of flowers and wreaths shocks me; the whole room is almost full. Some wreaths blocking others. Rows and rows of brown chairs line the room, all facing toward the front of the room. My eyes land on the brown wooden casket at the front of the room. The open half showing you the white satin inside. I walk down the aisle toward him, and then my eyes land on him. Eric. I can’t take another step forward because my knees give out, and I fall. Elliot isn’t fast enough to hold me up, and my knee lands with a thud. But the pain doesn’t matter because nothing could take the place of the pain in my heart. The sound of wailing fills the room as I look up at my dead husband. 

I feel arms around me; I feel myself lifted; I feel myself almost floating. He isn’t the Eric who kissed me goodbye; he isn’t the Eric who I made promises to; he isn’t the Eric who made all my dreams come true. This isn’t him.

The man with makeup caked on his face isn’t my Eric. My sobs overtake my body as I look at him, expecting him to open his eyes. Expecting something, anything but this. “I want the casket closed,” I say, my voice soft. “I want it closed.”

“Samantha,” my father-in-law starts, “it’s—”

I shake my head. “I don’t want the kids to see him like that,” I say softly. I know that for me they wouldn’t even consider it, but for the girls, they would move heaven and earth. “They need to remember him alive and smiling, not like that,” I say, pointing at the casket.

“Dad,” Ethan says after me, “I agree.” 

“Me too,” Elliot says from beside me. “Close it.”

He just nods at us, then walks to the man standing in the corner. The man looks at him as they have a hushed conversation and then just nods his head. “Do you need some water?” Ethan says to me, and I nod. I don’t bother listening to what else he says; instead, I get up and go to the casket. Standing before the brown box, I look at him, really look at him. You see some bruising under the makeup, and his nose is a little swollen. His hands are folded over his stomach, resting on his black suit. The suit he wore when we got married. Why? I ask him in my own head. Why did you do it? I ask him, hoping I can hear him whisper something to me, whisper anything back. To answer my questions, to give me something; anything to make me understand why he did what he did. Why he left me with so many fucking questions and not one answer. 

The man comes over to close the casket. Eric’s face disappears slowly, the shadow filling his face till the casket finally shuts. “I’m sorry for your loss,” the man says, nodding at me. “If at any time you want it open, we can open it back up.” I turn around now, looking at the chairs that will fill up as soon as the people start coming in. Ethan consoles my mother-in-law, and Elliot stands where we were just sitting, his hands in his pockets. 

“I’m getting the girls,” I tell them and then walk out with my head held high but my shoulders slumped. Defeated is a word that you use so many times not really understanding what can actually defeat you. I know now, my husband dying, him cheating on me, my kids without a father, my dreams of growing old with him gone. Beaten straight down to my core, straight down to my bones. 

I walk over to them as they look up. “Let’s go, girls,” I tell them as they both get up and walk to me. Lizzie takes one hand, Daisy takes the other, and we walk back into the room that holds a piece of our hearts. The room where their father lies, with no answers and no tomorrow.

We stand in that room for four hours while people come up to me and give me their condolences. I nod my head and play the part of the grieving wife. I am the grieving wife, but I’m also the wife whose husband didn’t love her enough to just be with her. The wife who knew her husband was slipping away but couldn’t catch it in time. The wife he said he would love and protect. The wife who stands here between his girls wishing that for one second he suffered horribly. The wife who has to pick up the fucking pieces and lie to her girls about what a great guy he was. The wife who, at the end of the day, just wasn’t good enough. 

We listen as people tell us how amazing he was, how much he loved his family, and how much he loved his girls. The whole time, I’m yelling on the inside, ready to stand in the middle of the room, throw my head back, and yell at the top of my lungs. But I don’t do what I want. I don’t tell them what a fraud my husband was. I don’t tell them that it was almost all lies. I don’t tell them that the day he died, they called his other wife and not me. I don’t tell them that I wasn’t the one with him when he died.

I stand here thinking about this other person—his other wife—and wonder how she would handle this. How she would be with my in-laws. Would she just let them control her and do everything for her? Would she want it to be open and weep for him beside the casket instead of standing next to it? 

I look around the room at all the people who came to pay their respects, and my eyes find someone I’ve never met before. Someone I’ve never seen before, and our eyes connect. His green eyes stare into mine as I watch him nod to me and turn to walk out. As he walks out of the crowded room, I strain my neck to watch his back. I don’t have long to think because Elliot comes up and whispers, “It’s time.”
When her nose isn’t buried in a book, or her fingers flying across a keyboard writing, she’s in the kitchen creating gourmet meals. You can find her, in four inch heels no less, in the car chauffeuring kids, or possibly with her husband scheduling his business trips. It’s a good thing her characters do what she says, because even her Labrador doesn’t listen to her…
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